When we talk about making healthy changes like joining a gym or starting a run group, there’s often an underlying narrative that any resistance is just “making excuses.” But what if we got really honest about both sides of change? What if we acknowledged that sometimes, not changing serves us in ways we need to understand?
The Hidden Benefits of Staying Put
Let’s get uncomfortable for a moment and look at what we gain from not changing. When we resist joining that gym or run group, we’re actually protecting ourselves from real potential risks:
- We avoid the vulnerability of being a beginner in public
- We protect ourselves from potential judgment or social discomfort
- We maintain our current energy reserves and time management
- We stay in control of our environment and routines
- We avoid potential failure or disappointment
- We don’t risk disrupting relationships with people who might react to our changes
These aren’t just excuses – they’re legitimate protective mechanisms. That voice saying “maybe not today” might be connected to past experiences where you felt exposed, judged, or overwhelmed.
The Real Downsides of Change
Similarly, let’s acknowledge that change isn’t all sunshine and motivation quotes. When we make changes like starting a fitness routine, we face genuine challenges:
- We temporarily lose competence as we learn new skills
- We might have to navigate social dynamics in new environments
- Our existing routines get disrupted, affecting other areas of life
- We expend extra mental and emotional energy managing new situations
- We might face resistance from people in our lives who are comfortable with how things are
- We have to process feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty
Working With Reality, Not Against It
Here’s where it gets interesting. Once we acknowledge these realities, we can actually design better approaches to change. Instead of trying to power through resistance, we can address the underlying concerns and do some reframing.
The goal isn’t to eliminate all resistance to change – that’s probably not realistic or even desirable. Instead, we can:
- Acknowledge our hesitation as valuable information
- Understand what our resistance is trying to protect
- Design approaches that honor these concerns while still moving forward
- Create safety nets and support systems that make change feel more manageable
Remember: Starting where you actually are is always more effective than starting where you think you should be. Your hesitation isn’t weakness – it’s your experience talking. Listen to it, learn from it, and work with it rather than against it.
The most sustainable changes often come not from overriding our resistance, but from understanding it and creating conditions where we feel safe enough to take new risks. Sometimes, the very things that make us resist change can become our guidelines for making change more manageable.
What protective instincts are your hesitations trying to honor? How might you work with them rather than against them?
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